Six Coaching Secrets to Help You in Times of Crisis
This post was originally published by Caroline Sarah Johnston, Founder, CEO & Certified Coach at Caroline Sarah Ventures on May 28, 2020.
There is no doubt that we are all going through stressful times right now. For most of us, adjusting to the new norm of self-isolation and social distancing is incredibly hard. Let's face it - Zoom happy hours with friends and online events are not ideal, but they are the reality right now. Keeping a positive mindset and holding onto hope for the future is difficult. That's where coaching comes in. We have talked about what coaching is before; coaching can be done with individuals and groups and helps them: set life goals, practice self-care, improve communication and emotional intelligence, and replace self-destructive patterns and habits with positive ones. Coaching is fundamental during a crisis for a multitude of reasons. Check out six things a coach can do for you and your team below! Don't hesitate to contact us for a free consultation today.
YOU WILL...
1. Feel heard
You may have experienced coaching before, and commonly people mistake coaching as advising. Real coaching is not the same as coaching for sports; it is instead the process of powerful questioning and guiding people to their own answers, rather than providing answers or questions for them. Because of this, coaching is a powerful tool to combat fear. Coaches learn to connect to their clients by listening, not just hearing, and allow their clients to feel heard. Think about it: if someone tells you to do something, will you do it? Probably not. If you do anything at all, it isn’t likely to change your habits, and this is essential to progressing forward and achieving goals. However, if you're heard and find the answer within, you may be more likely to change your habits because you have internal motivation.
So while most people do not listen with the intent to understand, but to reply, coaches do the opposite. As I learned from the leading coach in the United Kingdom - and my mentor - Christian Simpson, “You hear with your ears but you listen with your emotions. When you give someone the answer, they don’t have to think for themselves. The most effective way to disempower someone is to give them advice. A coach, therefore, brings questions – not answers; it’s explorative, as we know that YOU have the answer within." Often when we listen to others we are concentrating on what to say next, filling up our minds with our own opinions or even speaking out of turn. Try listening and hear the person without judgment or the need to immediately express your point of view. Don't forget: ‘listen’ can be shuffled around to spell ‘silent’. Coaches know this and will make you feel heard in all your sessions. It's your life we care about.
2. Stay Calm in the Chaos
You can stay calm even if there is a pandemic happening. Many questions come up like, “How can I cope with the unknown?”
When thriving - not just surviving - in adversity, fear is still present. Instead of letting it take over, you have the ability to confront the fear and overcome the challenges. It certainly is a challenge, but to really overcome something, we need to identify what it is and where it comes from. Where is the source? Many people can’t manage their world at this time, as they are isolated, static, terrified and wrapped up in anxiety. It is good to keep our lives in perspective when fear mongering is bombarding us like bullets. We are all experiencing loss and severe restrictions, and that is a painful process involving many emotions including anger, sadness, stress, anxiety, and frustration. However, new opportunities and resulting emotions, like hope, joy and peace are all available for the taking!
“We can’t control what is going on around us, but we can control what’s going on inside us and how we react to challenges.”
This is where coaching is helpful. The Coaching intervention will help you discover how to manage fear. Remember it’s not about eliminating it or pretending it isn’t there – it simply is acknowledging it! We can’t control what is going on around us, but we can control what's going on inside us and how we react to challenges. You will go through this journey and take your life back, mastering fear in the process -- rather than it mastering you. You'll work on how to go inward and dwell within, leaving the toxicity and negativity of the external world outside.
3. Develop Resilience
Resilience is a skill that can be developed. The more you practice it, the better you get. Resilience is important because your mindset can actually affect the outcome of a situation. Kathy Caprino says, "A fundamental distinction between a leader with resilience and one without is mindset. The leader with resilience sees a crisis as temporary, changeable, and influenceable. The leader without it sees it as permanent and unchangeable and is prone to engage in catastrophic thinking." A coach can help you be relentless in your search for resilience and empower you to think positively in the face of challenges. Will you give up or get up?
You can find your inner strength through the power of positive thinking. My trainer Valorie Burton says, “It’s your thinking style that determines your level of resilience - your ability to overcome, steer through and bounce back when adversity strikes.” In my experience as a coach, this is completely true. When we value self-defeating thoughts over self-empowering ones, we are disempowering ourselves in the process. It’s fine to feel sorry for yourself and feel your emotions. However, it's beneficial if, you can also practice showing gratitude for what you do have. When we start focusing on the positive aspects of a situation, we can reduce our negative thoughts, which helps us lower anxiety and in turn become more resilient.
Darren Hardy has shown me a lesson that is etched in my mind about a ball bouncing. Every day we experience "falls" that require us to bounce back. There is a difference between falling and failing. If you think of a ball being thrown, it’s the bounce that converts the fall into a victory. The harder you fall, the higher you can bounce back. How can you prepare yourself to bounce back from this adversity right now? What can you do today that will take you to new heights?
Pointer: A set-back is a set up for a COMEBACK!
4. Become Self-Aware and Overcome Your Fears
Awareness is the state or condition of having a knowledge of consciousness (aka the knowledge or perception of a situation or fact). From a young age we’ve focused on gaining knowledge and learning facts. However, often people rarely take the time to meditate on our beliefs and core values. Our beliefs are what drive our thinking and are often outside of our conscious awareness. Coaching can help you dig deep and find your courage. Awareness, not knowledge, will help you bring your unconscious mind to the conscious. As Lawrence Bossidy says, “Self-awareness gives you the capacity to learn from your mistakes as well as your successes. It enables you to keep growing.” You can move yourself from a fatalistic mindset to an aware mindset. If you can understand your subconscious, which drives our behavior and reactions before the our conscious does, you can find a level of awareness and control that you never thought possible.
“What you are aware of, you are in control of; what you are not aware of is in control of you.” - Anthony de Mello
5. Discover Who You Really Are
This is a great time to figure out who you really are. You have an opportunity to reconnect with yourself, and it’s a precious time. You have all the answer within and are the best person to decide how you may want to change yourself. Wayne Dyer said, "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." Your perspective is truly powerful in not only creating a positive environment and mindset for your own self, but also in manifesting the changes you wish to see. Question yourself: Who am I? What can I use this time for and what do I really want to reflect on? What do I want to become? What is my purpose? You have the answers to all these questions inside of you.
In coaching, you will learn how to open your mind and open your perspective. You answer questions like: is THIS thought helping me or hurting me? What has worked best for me in the past? What have I overcome before? By reflecting and becoming more self-aware, you can grow. On the John Maxwell Team, John often reminds us, "You must know yourself to grow yourself." One of the ways coaching can help you discover who you really are is through personality testing. You can contact me to do a DISC personality test. You can also click here to discover what your innate values and behavioral traits are.
Show up for yourself in new ways, not by self shaming, but sitting with your feelings and processing ways through it. In order to move forward, you must cope with your feelings. Remember how resilient you have been before and re-connect to your inner self which holds more power than you may realize.
6. Be the Change. Be an Overcomer.
Seeing things on a different level and through different lenses allows you to be the difference. If you want to find success in your personal and professional life, you have to want it. When you want to change, you can change; it's all about mindset. What you do with your mind will affect your brain and your body; you have the choice.
The coronavirus pandemic sometimes feels endless. There is so much uncertainty in the world that we cannot control, and a lot is unknown. But we can control how we cope with what is happening right now, so bring yourself back to the present moment and take each day at a time. Tomorrow has enough worries of its own. Moving forward when life doesn't go as planned is overcoming and empowering. We all have the strength within us to make it through this crisis. If you can, find the positives in this situation. Alexander Graham Bell once said, "When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” I encourage you to look at the open door.
An eagle uses the storm to its advantage; it will use the winds to lift it higher. What is your biggest challenge at this time? How can you lift yourself higher above the storm? Learn about how coaching can help you in your professional and personal life.
CONTACT US TODAY FOR A FREE COACHING SESSION TO GET HELP THROUGH THESE CHALLENGING TIMES
Written by Caroline Johnston, Certified Coach
Edited by Serena Nangia
